Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, or Part 4. I continue with the fall after our cancelled wedding.
At the end of September I considered giving up and going back home. And then, after only 2 weeks of interning, my team leader informed me that they wanted to bring me on as a full time graphic designer. I received a livable salary and full-time benefits. After that I couldn’t deny that God wanted me to stay where I was and work on things. I was so happy about my job and yet our relationship hit rock bottom that same weekend.
We returned to our alma mater for homecoming that weekend. I realized how far our relationship had fallen. After living in relative isolation in a new town for a month, being back with friends who showed me true love, it was easy to see how Dave and my relationship was suffering . * sidenote* I don’t write this to just bring up past hurt, but only to truly convey how incredible the healing and the power of Christ in our lives has been.
During our drive back north at the end of the weekend, I knew there was no future with this boy if he couldn’t sort through the issues he was having. I told him so and told him that as his sister in Christ I cared more about his soul and his relationship with our Savior than our own romantic one. I discovered the power of the gospel as a solution to our issues. I shared the gospel with him for the rest of that drive. And for the first time he opened up a bit about his struggles and pain. I encouraged him to confront them and seek counseling. He had a lifetime of hurt and baggage to work through that were keeping him from an intimate relationship with God. That was the day I surrendered to God and knew if it were to work out, He’d was the only one who could orchestrate that.
The rest of the fall was rough, but nothing close to as bad as September. Every time we took 2 steps forward, we fell back 1 step. More long conversations happened and praying that God would be the center of our relationship. I learned that fall what it means to have Jesus as my one and only confidence and foundation.
Two steps forward, one back. But slowly being pulled out of the hole.
Mid-November we realized our engagement was a lie and since we weren’t at a place where marriage was a reality, it was wrong for me to be committed in that way. We also hoped that by ending our engagement, relations with our families would improve. The strain between us had kept us from handling some unfortunate situations properly and we knew an all around rebuilding was necessary.
Strangely, I consider the beginning of December a turning point. I got my little kitten right after Thanksgiving and we spent Advent rediscovering the joy of our relationship. It was such a peaceful and happy time. It felt like light had returned to our lives together.
Little Baby Ellie = our little joy kitten
The rest of the winter was a continued journey. We found a church we loved and began to feel like we were slowly growing roots in our new hometown. Dave-Man’s offer on a house came through and he bought his first house. Looking back now I see how Christ almost miraculously saved our “us.”
Happiness, real and peace grounded in love
The way things looked then, I don’t think I could have imagined things turning around more. I now know what it means to be loved completely by Dave-man and what had been missing. He has become a new man since he realized the true meaning of the gospel and once Christ became the center of our interactions.
Final part to come next week in time to celebrate the holiday of LUUUUVE…
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 and epilouge